I Remember that the concern takes over my life. I was 12 years old and I felt constantly, I’m tense about everything and nothing. I spent the morning in the morning student support office, I went down the panic attack that fixed me to a class floor, heart hitting and tears flowing down my face. After a rescue, on tea and Jaffa cake, a pastoral counselor told me that I would hit the burnout until the end of the period if there was a regular event. The idea was caught.
In my first few weeks in high school, I was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder – a situation characterized by excessive and lasting concernAccording to NHS. A perfectionist line turned into an acute sense of responsibility. I was an extremely conscientious student; To prove my value, I felt that I should be better than anyone else and I should be perfect in my work. As a way to give birth to low self -esteem, I tried to do as much as possible.
During this unrest, Richard Ayoade’s submarine became a waltz in my world. A problematic home life, very, very many Young sexual experiences and a film that makes bullying as my “emotion” film can be an interesting choice, but equally dark and 97 minutes in Peppy is a story about writing your own rules.
Adapted from the novel Joe Dunthorne, the submarine is touching, sweet and most importantly funny. I wasn’t good to be young like Oliver Tate, his deep thinking hero. I was worried that I ruined my life when it started harmlessly. The film follows Oliver’s romanticism with his classmate Jordana Bevan, a pyaniac with a fearless sense of rebellion. He likes to read the dictionary; He likes to choose his partner’s leg feathers in a light match.
I cooperated at home for days at a time, usually very worried about going to school, first of all, I first encountered a submarine via Tumblr. I used to spend hours by scrolling on the blog website of Oliver and Jordana’s GIFs. A real balance of relationships, Yin and Yang energies felt willing for young fans whose identity is still shaped.
At the beginning of the film, Oliver drowned with a foreword that he cannot achieve anything in life. He enters the Humor of Dikk, describes the visualization of his own funeral – a shift to be taken by a local news team. The character of Mitfit sometimes leaned on the cliché (of course he reads the caught in the rye). He illuminated many tensions that mental illness can isolate an individual, and he is not sure how to help friends.
Oliver’s way of reacting to situations may be excessive, but it may be irrational. The first kiss results in shortness of breath. Hiding in the corridors, browsing things that he does not understand yet – adult existence wins vinyets. Going out of the bedroom is to trigger a mysterious, almost hidden change in trust.
At the age of 15, my life was a vortex of consulting sessions, insomnia and weight loss. I was forced to lower half of my GCSE, the rest was completed under a separate invitation. I was horrified and under fear, I was burning with shame. However, when I was uploading months, I continued to return to the submarine when I needed to remind you that there was a daily possibility I know.
As Oliver offers at some point, what will happen in the period of adolescence is memorized and years later we can “reconsider the same handful of images .. I promised to watch another route. It was the film music that encouraged Alex Turner, who offered me a way with songs speaking to maintain a sense of self in difficult conditions.
“Tomorrow, I’m gonna be stronger/colorful, it’s not just black and white,” he says tonight. That’s when he clicked: anger can become a solution. A more calm, more emotionally stable future did not have to feel impassable. Since then, he has followed dozens of imaging; The film still brings me hope as an adult and hopeless joy.
A few years later, I interviewed Turner at an East London pub. I was 21 years old, I was still taking gentle steps to be better while making a living with a love of music that started with him. I was very glad in the tube house, I was very glad, and in submarine film music. I heard the sound of my transformation, not nostalgia in it, from a uncomfortable girl to journalist, to what I am still still.
